Famous Footballers

Ephemera Description
Jolly Sailor Cigarette Cards: Series 3
Famous Footballers
Artwork by Paul Kidby

Notes
There were various set of cards issued.
A collectors set of 20 cards was available for purchase which included two extra Reserve Players cards featuring Bernard and Paul.
Four cards The Librarian, Charlie, Rincewind and The Luggage were included with the Unseen Academicals book issued by Waterstones.

Images and Documents
Series 3 Album

Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
1 David (Dave) Likely
CBC-0032a
David ’Dave’ Likely (Deceased)
All time holder of highest lifetime score (four goals) in the street version of the game.
Dave Likely is the archetypal footballer from his huge baggy shorts to his hobnail boots.
Unfortunately he refused to wear any head protection at all, which is why he is the late Dave Likely.
Card reverse
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
2 The Librarian
CBC-0032b
The Librarian (Dthau)
(Dthau), Professor of L-Space Studies
Player No 1
A seond number one (because he sulked). Born to defend the goal, since he can swing from the posts and very nearly reach the total width of the goal while standing in the middle.
Card reverse
Waterstones card Reverse  Issued by Waterstone with Unseen Academicals.
The card is numbered 1, instead of 2.
It also states ’A series of 15 cards’
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
3 Ridcully
CBC-0032c
Mustrum Ridcully
D.Thau., D.M., D.S. D.Mn., D.G., D.D., D.C.I., D.M., Phil., D.M.S., D.C.M., D.W., B.El.L.
Player No 1
Sometimes attemps to shout the ball at the enemy opposition. Mustrum Ridcully’s preferred technique is to kick the ball at full force at the nearest attacker, and collect it again on the rebound as his opponent curls up in a ball on the ground. This has caused a number of problems for opposing players until they found a use that could be made of a common metal soup plate, two holes and a length of string.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
4 Ponder Stibbons
CBC-0032d
Ponder Stibbons
Dr Ponder Stibbons HEM (UU), Dthau (UU), Reader in Non-Volatile Intelligence (UU), Cantoride Speaker in Slood Refurgance (UU)
Player/Coach
Used to lose glasses early in the match and now has them taped to his head. Tactical thinker, some of the time. One of his boots flies off for no known reason.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
5 Hicks
CBC-0032e
Dr J Hicks
Professor in Unspeakable Dark Arts
Post Mortum Communications (UU), Dthau, Impissimus Hilder of the Silver Skull (3rd Class) bhgf
Player No 8
Under university statute is allowed, expected and required to foul. After all, there is no point in being the official bad person if you play be the rules. The only player who is prepared to wear number eight. Will occasionally leave free tickets to his notorious amateur dramatic presentations in order to demoralise the opposition.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
6 Bengo Macarona
CBC-0032f
Bengo Macarona
Professor, D.Thau (Bug), D.Maus (Chubb), Magistaludorum (QIS), Octavium (Hons), PHGK (Blit), DMSK, Mack, Dtahu (Bra), Visiting Professor in Chickens (Jahn the Conqueror University (Floor 2, Shrimp Packers Building, Genua), Primo Octo (Deux), Visiting Professor of Blit Slood Exchanges (Al Khali), KCbf), Reciprocating Professor of Blit Theory (Unki), D.Thau (Unki), Didmus Supremis (Unki), Emeritus Professor in Blit Substrate Determinations (Chubb), Chair of Blit and Music Studies (Quirm College for Young Ladies)
Player No 69
A Highly skilled player from Genua, well known for having many different approaches to the task in hand. Excellentstricker with a regrettable tendency to handle the ball when excited.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
7 Trevor Likely
CBC-0032g
Trevor Likely
(Education unknown)
Player No 4
Not formally a team member. Although has played once for UU. The most highly-skilled man alive with the traditional tin can, which he can practically cause to deft gravity, but is known to have difficulty with the standard spherical ball.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
8 Charlie
CBC-0032h
Charlie
(No other name known)
Player 206
Hasn’t yet taken the field for UU since the Football Association of Ankh-Morpork is divided on the eligibility of a walking skeleton. Nevertheless he turns up to training and as Dr Hicks points out, is very good anatomical practice and carries the magic sponge.
Card reverse
Waterstones Card reverse  Issued by Waterstone with Unseen Academicals.
The card is numbered 206, instead of 8.
It also states ’A series of 15 cards
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
9 Alf Nobbs (No relation)
CBC-0032i
Alf Nobbs
(No relation)
One year long service Bledlow Medal (UU), Five Year Long Service Bledlow Medal (UU), Ten Year Long Service Bledlow Medal (UU)
Player No 10
A good all-round player, whose talents have been honed by chasing generations of students after the pubs had shut. Feels he has a mission in life to restore the good name of the Nobbs clan. Wears enormously pare and heavy boots. People have learned to flee at the sound.
Card reverse
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Name:
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10 Gryffid Tabernacle Evans
CBC-0032j
Gryffid Tabernacle Evans
(Evans the Striped)
The only player in the UU squad who is officially dead. He is, in fact, all that remains of the last UU sports master whose ghost hangs on in the enormous brass whistle that was all he left behind. Regrettably, people sometimes forget that blowing the whistle will cause them to be temporarily overwhelmed by the spit of the late Evens who will than send everyone on a long cross-country run in their underwear for forgetting their sports kit.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
11 The Archchancellor
CBC-0032k
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
12 Rincewind
CBC-0032l
Professor Rincewind
Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography (UU), Chair of Experimental Serendipity (UU), Reader of Slood Dynamics (UU), Chair for Public Misunderstanding of Magic (UU), Chair of Approximate Accuracy (UU)
Player 7b
Rincewind, the Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography, is possibly the fastest person on any field. Unfortunately, he frequently forgets to take the ball with him. Interestingly, the verve in which he speeds away clouds the perception of his opponents who find it difficult to believe that the ball is actually behind them now and is heading in the opposite direction.
Card reverse
Waterstones card reverse  Issued by Waterstone with Unseen Academicals.
The card is numbered 7a, instead of 12.
It also states ’A series of 15 cards
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
13 The Luggage
CBC-0032m
The Luggage
Surprisingly, not allowed on the team because of its total incapability of understanding what a game is.
Also has too many feet.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
14 Nutt
CBC-0032n
Mr Nutt
Education: More than you could possibly imagine.
Player & Coach
Perhaps the most skilled tactician ever to lace up a boot. Is possibly the only player ever to use the word zeitgeist in everyday conversation. Particularly skilled in the philosophy of the game, he can get an axiom containing a paradox past an opposing player before the man even notices that his shorts have fallen down.
Card reverse
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
15 Joseph Hoggett
CBC-0032o
Joseph Hoggett
(Captain of United)
Player No 2
Also captain of Pigsty Hill Pork Packers and a skilled player of the old game of street football (aka the Poor Boys Fun, The Game, The Shove).
Elected captain of United at the meeting of the captains of all the cities major football teams.
Very strong, it is reputed he can lift a pig carcass in each hand.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
16 Charlie (Big Boy) Barton
CBC-0032p
Charlie Barton
(Treacle Mine Tuesday Goalkeeper)
Player No 3
Very seldom does and ball get past Charlie (Big Boy) Barton who, it is rumoured, has to be crowbarred from the goal at the end of the match. This is as a result of his phenomenal pie consumption and has led to the Ankh-Morpork Football Association declaring that The Miner’s goals must be at least twice as wide as those of their opponents team so that there might be room for the ball to be put in.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
17 Jimmy Wilkins
CBC-0032q
Jimmy Wilkins
(Pigsty Hill Pork Packers)
Player No 7
Jimmy Wilkins soon excelled himself as captain of the Porkies with his ability to turn cartwheels on the pitch and shoot upside down.
Often this has bewildered unsuspecting goalkeepers sufficiently for the ball to have hit back of the net before they have even realised that is was on its way.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
18 J. W. Rickett
CBC-0032r
J W Rickett
(Pigsty Hill Pork Packers)
Player No 4
A master of fine ball control, Kick it Rickett has been known to run half the length of the pitch with the ball apparently balanced on the tip of his boot. He has only failed to become a true football great because of his absolute reluctance to ever pass the ball to anybody else and once famously stormed off the pitch when one of his team tried it. As they said, he was a great player, if only you jumped out and tripped him up at the right moment.
Card reverse
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Name:
SHS Ref:
19 Aknon Smyth
CBC-0032s
Aknon Smyth
(The Dimmers)
Player No 6
Stalwart of the Dimmers, Holy Aknon, as he is known, belongs to a small sect that has to say prayers every fifteen minutes. Fans are used to him dropping to his knees in the middle of a game which, coincidently, trips up at least one opposing player. Following this, the game has to go on to hold until he finishes his prayers, after which he will spring away in some hitherto unknown direction.
The Ankh-Morpork Football Association is Wrestling with this (conundrum)
Card reverse
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
20 Andy Shank
CBC-0032t
Andy Shank
(The Dimmers)
Player No 2
Andy Shank is a leading ’face’ amongst the Dimwell supporters as well as in the Ankh-Morpork Shove.
His father is a feared captain of the Dimwell team and Andy may well inherit the title due to his unbridled savagery and skill in all forms of close combat. He inspires fear amongst this associates almost as much as his enemies. Known tot he City Watch as a particularly bad lot he is certainly one to keep as eye out for. All the time if possible.
Card reverse
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
Bernard (The Bolt) Pearson
CBC-0032u
Bernard (The Bolt) Pearson
Bernard (The Bolt) is no stranger to running around endlessly, looking very busy and purposeful. When he has his tobacco pipe going full blast he has been likened to a Dreadnaught under full steam.
His main claim to fame however is making little bits of Discworld come to life, be they sculptures, interesting artefacts, stamps, or cards like these.
Years ago Sir Terry Pratchett called him ’The Cunning Artificer’, a title he rejoices in. These illustrated cards were inspired by the latest Discworld Book ’Unseen Academicals’. The Artist Paul Kidby is no stranger to Discworld and was delighted to be asked to ’come out and play’ by Bernard to make yet another bit Of Discworld real enough to touch.
Reserve Players
Card reverse
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
Paul (The Other One) Kidby
CBC-0032v
Paul (The Other One) Kidby
Paul Kidby was once trailed for the Northolt Wanderers but pleaded mitigating circumstances due to the fact he was drawing at the time.
In fact he has been drawing most of the time and since 1995 almost exclusively Discworld subjects. Book Covers, Calendars, The Pratchett Portfolio (1996) and the Art of Discworld (2004) and the hugely successful ’The Last Hero’, a Discworld "fable" and number one best seller in the UK, selling more than 235,000 copies.
He has worked with Bernard before but never on a project that has been so much fun.
In fact they have had such a jolly time they might well do something like it again.
Reserve Players
Card reverse
Copyright 2010-2021 © Discworld Emporium
Name:
SHS Ref:
The Luggage Waterstones
CBC-0032w
The only one of the 4 cards issued with the Waterstones book which shows W Waterstone’s on the face.
Reverse
Unseen Academicals Picture Card
* * Player 1001 The Luggage * *
Surprisingly, not allowed on the team because of its total inability to understand what a game actually is.
Also has too many feet
Waterstones card reverse

Keywords: football card cigarette jolly sailor waterstones likely librarian ridcully stibbons hicks bengo macarona trveor chalrie nobbs Gryffid Tabernacle Evans archchancellor rincewind luggage nutt hoggett barton wilkins rickett aknon smyth shank pearson kidby

 

X-Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett